Sometimes I wish I were a feeler. I live much of my life blissfully unaware that there are things that need to be felt. Every once in a while I get a glimpse into what my life would be like if I didn’t default to cognition in place of emotion. Yesterday was one of those times.
I teach a class at church, along with 4 other people in what is called “round table” teaching. It is a great opportunity to enter into community with other teachers and really live life with them, even if only for a couple hours per week. Last night at our round table one of the teachers was expressing how she craves tangibility in her relationship with God. She deeply desires a physical connection with Him, and hasn’t been experiencing that lately. We gathered around her, put our hands on her shoulders and arms, and became the hands of Christ to her, as we prayed that God would refresh her and renew her.
As we were praying, God began to work into my heart the gospel, again. In the hustle to go about my day, and to think through all the things that needed doing, I had forgotten that Jesus paid it all. I had failed to bring before him my concerns, my problems, and my joys. I am so quick to default to performance-based churchianity, where I am only as valuable as my ability to produce results. Consequently, I am easily overwhelmed by my own inability to control my environment. It’s tough to produce results when you can’t even guarantee a paycheck for your wife and child.
That’s when it hit me, in a wave of emotion that forced a tear from my eye: I got a glimpse into the life of a feeler! But more than that, I was comforted by Jesus. As I became the hands of Christ for a sister in need, He reminded me that He hadn’t left the throne. He provides just what we need, just when we need it.