The 1 million dollar swing.

There are some ideas that are absolutely brilliant.  Sliced bread, automatic dishwashers, phones with mac software on them, and my new favorite, the baby swing.  I actually don’t call it a swing.  I call it the “heavenly daddy-back saver.”  (or HD-BS)  It is truly the most amazing machine I have ever encountered.  Here’s how a typical usage goes:

I hear Ben Jr starting to “pre-fuss” (a maneuver involving loud coos, a few grunts, and his face wrinkling up like it’s beginning to melt).  I grab up the baby bundle, and bounce across the room.  Baby Ben is not content with small bounces, either.  The big, 2 foot, exaggerated bounces are the only ones that will do.  I generally can get him to stop fussing (or prevent him from starting) in about three bounces.  But then I have to continue until he falls asleep. 

Enter the HD-BS

I place him in (which was rather nerve-wracking the first time… “where do you think this strap goes, and what’s that squeaking?”) and bundle the blanket all around him.  One twist of the knob starts him swinging.  He initially protests, and starts to melt his face again.  I stay within ear-shot and give him a standard “shh-shh-shh” The nurse at our childbirth class said that sound mimics mom’s heartbeat from the womb, explaining it’s cathartic effect.  The combo of the shh-shh and the HD-BS lulls him back into contentment. 

Then, my back muscles kick up their feet, break open an adult beverage, put some Jack Johnson on their iPods, and relax.

Thanks, Josh and Stacy, for the HD-BS.  Your reward will be in heaven, and worth at least a million bucks.