We have a filter system in place for our blog.  I write some posts without using it, and some posts with it.  It’s a very simple system.  I write a post in an email instead of directly to the blog, and I send that email to Jacqueline.  She then has filter power.

Last night I did exactly that.  I emailed her something that I was processing in life, and she exercised her veto power.  That’s not to say it is something that I wanted to post and she didn’t, but just that I needed to make sure it was ok with her that I post it.  It is not just Ben’s blog.  She is a great filter.  I have found that in this blogging process, I often use the blog itself as a way of processing things.  I don’t even know how I feel about things sometimes until I type it out.  So, the filter system works great.  I am able to process it, and communicate with my wife, and not share more than I need to wth people that don’t need to know.

The post last night was about something that I am currently running to instead of Christ.  It was telling that I was willing to broadcast to the entire internet a sin of mine that I was not willing (at the time) to take to the men in my life that hold me accountable and pray for me.  Broadcasting it to everyone is a false sense of community.  It is (as my wife helped me to see) a sad case of me trying to be real, honest, and humble, in a prideful and showy way.  That’s right… I am prideful about how humble I am.

What broadcasting it to the whole world does is enable me to skirt around the tough parts of real community.  The sitting across the table, looking at another person and having to spill your junk aspect of community.

So, instead of telling all of you where I am currently struggling, I have been (and will be) taking that struggle to Christ and to the men in my life that know and love me here in Asheville.  Then, maybe my real-life community can create a foundation for a flourshing online community, where we are able to be real and honest without sharing stuff that others don’t need to know.

Oh, and this post is unfiltered.