Day with Daddy, or "How I got rice cereal out of an infant’s nose"

There are just some things that didn’t show up in the new daddy brochure.  They warned you about diapers, about not sleeping, and about spit-up; but nobody ever mentioned the wonder of modern science known as the baby spoon.

I have watched Jacqueline feed little Benjamin rice cereal (which, by the way, seems to be a wholly inaccurate name for it, on par with calling meatloaf a “rib-eye”), and she is pretty adept at keeping it in his mouth, for the most part.  At least the part that doesn’t go in the mouth goes south from there to the chin or bib.

I am more of an adventurer than that, though.  I like to see how close I can get cereal to going in his eye, all the way to his sinus cavity, or into his diaper.  Like an x-games athlete, I am into the extreme sports.  Yesterday he spit cereal at least 10 inches onto his new high chair tray.  It’s cereal, daddy style.

The problem is my spoon technique, I think.  The “what the heck am I doing” face I make during the process doesn’t help, but instead makes little Benjamin laugh while there is food in his mouth, turning said food into a projectile.  At which point I laugh, thus exascerbating the problem.

Then, once I get the next spoonful near his face he decides that it would be an appropriate time to try out the new head-bang maneuver he’s been working on, and plants his conveniently spoon-sized nose into the cereal.  The shock of it on his face causes him to inhale violently, and we have a problem.  See, his nostrils are far too small for me to get anything out that has gone in.  Being the resourceful guy my wife married for wit, charm, and reasoning skills, I decided to utilize a device small enough to dig out the misappropriated mush, little Benjamin’s pinky finger.  Seemed like a logical choice at the time.

To make a long story short, don’t try that.  Trust me, you’d rather leave the mush in there.  He still controls that little finger, and once you get it wedged in there, he closes his hand in a fist, and then gets mad because somebody is squeezing his nose.

All in all, daddy day yesterday was really fun.  I thought I’d share one of the more comedic moments with you.  Now, to go and update that brochure…