About becoming an Involuntary Marriage Counselor

I’ve written before about folks telling me all of their financial secrets. But this takes it to an entirely different level.

“Id love to give to your ministry, but my wife doesn’t know I have $10,000 in credit card debt, so I am trying to clean that up right now without stopping our tithe.”

Super. Now I am a marriage counselor.

What do you expect me to do with that information? “Neat, you are going behind your wife’s back, and now I’m the only person on earth who knows. Have I mentioned that we’ve never met in person? Is your wife there? Can I talk to her?”

There’s no confidentiality agreement here, pal.

Do other professions have to deal with this type of stuff? Do you tell the electrician about your marriage problems? The plumber tugs away at the downspout on your leaky bathroom sink as you tell him about your gambling addiction? Do you let the bag boy at the local supermarket in on your IRS debt?

I’ve been married for 46 seconds compared to you, sir. I am by no means qualified to handle this type of information, or offer any help.

Once I had a guy who wanted to give to our ministry behind his wife’s back, “She’s just not a very generous person, she’d get mad if she knew I were giving. Can I give cash?”

Yeah, that sounds like a wonderful idea. How’s about I set up a wet bar at the AA meeting, while I’m at it? I hear those folks tip well.

We didn’t let him give to us secretly. But so that everyone’s clear, here are some other methods of giving we don’t endorse:

Carrier Pigeon

We tried with this one guy, but the pigeon was totally late every month with the check.

American Express

Call me crazy, but if you are giving via credit card, and in debt, aren’t you technically giving someone else’s money away? Pay off the debt, and we’d love to take money from you. I know, it gets you airline miles. But I don’t really care.

Condiments

While we do accept non-cash gifts, and there is a procedure for giving them, we had to draw the line somewhere. We decided that for the simplicity of it, we’d not take any tax-deductible gifts that can be spread on a sesame seed bun. Among the other non-cash gifts we’ve decided not to accept: livestock, horticultural supplies, and anything mentioned in this post.

How about you? Has anyone ever dramatically overshared something with you? Overshare it with us in the comments below!

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