About being referred to the Youth Guy

If there is one thing I loved when raising funding for my ministry, it was getting referred to the youth pastor at your church.  Or the Young Life guy.

Not sure, but I think this is the logic: you know I like Jesus, you know he likes Jesus, maybe we could get together and

  • start up a counterfeiting ring to generate some cash.
  • Compare minivans
  • Add each other as facebook friends

Perhaps I wasn’t clear. I’m looking for money. Not (currently) more people to work with. The following is a sarcastic/satirical look at what tends to happen, but the reality is that I often enjoy meeting with youth pastors/college pastors. It is funny, however, when you ask them for money. And for the record, I like youth workers (they have a special calling from God that includes Red Bull and IcyHot), but they are really easy to make fun of. And most of the time they don’t take themselves too seriously

Asking for money from a youth pastor is as fruitful as asking my 2-year old to help me get my discipleship curriculum together.  He really wants to help, he just doesn’t have the capacity.

Here’s an approximation of how the conversation goes when I get together with Skip the youth pastor at your church:

(requisite fist bump or awkward “we’ve never met but both know Jesus so let’s hug even though we are full-grown men in Starbucks” followed by a waiting-in line experience where you take turns trying to make small talk about the menu. Once seats and Frappucinos have been acquired, we move to the meat of the appointment)

Skip: Bro, I appreciate you hitting me up.  How long have you been in ministry?

(comparison of stories posturing ourselves as real ministers commences. Necessary details include but are not limited to (a) how many times we’ve had sell things to buy Apple products, (b) what theologian’s name and first two initials we are most fond of, and (c) what book about ministry we just finished reading.  If a youth pastor is involved, there’s often a disclaimer about whatever form of facial hair is present, or why his graphic T has an eagle on it.)

Me: Yeah, I got your name from ________ and (he/she/they) thought you’d be good to get together with and talk through fund raising stuff.

Skip: Have you read [book about finances or ministry or both]?

(20 minute conversation ensues that somehow ends with the following exchange)

Me: The bottom line for me when it comes to speaking in tongues is that it’s supposed to bring glory to God.

Skip: Word.  Amen to that.

(awkward segue back to money)

Me: Do you know of a way we can raise the $3000 per month we need to get back our assignment?

Skip: I have no idea.  My church pays me with Red Bull and chewing gum wrappers.  What do you say we pick up applications to work here at Starbucks?

Me: I’ve already filled mine out online while I was waiting for you to get here.  I’m clicking “submit” right now.

I want to raise support, and so far, thanks to my meeting with Skip, I’ve raised negative 5 bucks courtesy of the calorically gifted coffee beverage I just ingested.

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