About how much we have to raise, per month.

“We don’t want all your support to come from the same place.”

That may be the weirdest stated reason we ever got for someone not being able to continue giving to our ministry.   I guess they just don’t like always being the answer to prayer. They like to switch it up and be the catalyst for desperate, fervent prayer every now and again. The best part about that story was not even the curious reason for stopping their gift, but that they apparently were under the mistaken impression that our ministry was fully funded with their $2000 annual gift.

I know, I know, they might not have known that we weren’t allowed to have outside employment while on staff with Campus Crusade, or perhaps they thought we were just raising support for an annual trip overseas. There are a number of reasons for them to legitimately have misunderstood how much support we had to raise.  After all, we do recognize that 2 grand is a lot of cash. And we appreciated it. But let’s pause now to thoroughly make light of the situation, all in good fun.

Yep. $166 bucks a month is strangely all we have to raise. We minister to upper middle class folks on a college campus and we live in America, but all we need to get by is that $2000 bucks we get from you every year. My wife’s a couponer.

I hate to burst the comfortable bubble in which you live, but the minister’s discount at most places rarely exceeds 10%.  And (this may be hard to hear…) some places don’t even give a minister’s discount.  I know, it’s tragic.

Not to kick you while you’re down, (in fact, this might serve to kick missionaries for not being down… we’ll see…) but I’ve compiled the following list of things missionaries I know personally have spent $2000 per year on.  I am all about education.  Children are our future.  Teach them well and send them on their way.  Show them all the beauty they possess inside.

Chick-fil-a.

Can you count it as a tithe when you buy something from Chick-fil-a?  Isn’t the Apostle Paul like a district manager there, or something?  Regardless, I am pretty sure that most missionaries in my neck of the woods wouldn’t even break a sweat to spend 2 grand per year at Chick-fil-a.  The sheer number of discipleship appointments at the ‘fil were enough to push me into that range.

Stamps.

I think the government is planning a hostile takeover of campus ministry.  They are going to do it through increases in the price of stamps.  I’ve given more to the US Postal Service than I have to any charity.  Between the prayer letters that we mail out, the financial support letter that we mail out, postcards, thank-you notes, and sweepstakes entry forms we mail back, I’m easily pushing double the requisite $2000 per year for making this list.

Star Wars Memorabilia.

Unless he chooses to out himself in the comments, he’ll remain anonymous, but a friend of mine has a sizable collection of Star Wars action figures, books, magnets, and other assorted memorabilia.  Not sure the going rate for those things these days, but I’d imagine it would have at one point in his life qualified him for this list.

Jeans.

Again, I’m not naming names, but when I was a single guy, I knew a girl (fellow staff member) who spent hundreds of dollars on a single pair of jeans.  That’s not $2000 bones, but it does get her into the monthly requirement of $166.  So, yeah.  It also made it easier to take when that same girl shot me down when I asked her out.  I made a new rule that I would ask how much the next girl’s jeans cost, and draw the line at $100.  (I met my wife the next day, coincidentally, and she shops at the ‘will.  Uncoincidentally.)

So yeah, perhaps we could be a bit better with our money.  But rest assured, your $2000 check wasn’t singlehandedly supporting our ministry.

How about you, reader?  what are some things you’ve spent a significant amount of money on this year? Comment below.

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