Following Christ into the unknown.
Becoming a voice of hope amidst a chorus of naysayers.
Those were the topics and goals of this site when I started it in October. I still feel as passionately as I did then about all of the above.
As I’ve written the 100+ posts about the previous chapter of my life, I’ve realized something profound. Something I definitely didn’t foresee:
I think I’m done. I don’t think I can continue to write about the last season of my life.
I think the closure I need when I started (though I didn’t even realize I did) has taken place.
I’m fighting back feelings of failure, though. I told myself when I started writing a very specific niche-blog that I was going to stick with it. Even these last couple of days, as we have been moving, and I’ve been forced to take a break from writing and creating content, I’ve had an inner fight. The Ben who doesn’t give up on things is having to learn a lesson from the Ben who is a totally different person than he was a year ago.
I’ve had to insist with myself that it is OK to change gears, given new realities. In fact, to not change gears in light of those new realities is foolishness.
Here’s what is not going to happen: I am not going to stop writing and creating content. You (if you decide to stick with me) get to take the wild ride of genre-change. I am not sure where we are going from here. I’m still passionate about the gospel going out. I’m still passionate about missions. I’m still passionate about being a breath of fresh air in an otherwise stuffy conversation, whether it’s about raising money or about seeing God’s kingdom expand, or theology, or even business and economics through a biblical lens. I’m just not going to be able to focus in so tightly on the fund-development aspect of missionary life any more. I’ve run out of material.
I’ve still got a couple of good posts left in that niche, I think. I’m sure they’ll make it out of my brain soon, especially now that I have given my brain the freedom to think about other things for the blog.
And of course, all of the guest posts that have been promised to me from missions-folks can still be submitted. I’m totally cool with that.
So, who’s with me?