Ben Meredith, Author at BenandJacq in the Browser

July 22, 2008July 19, 2010

Kids as weapons.

I use my 2-month old son as a weapon.

Please read the rest of the post before calling social services… it’s a metaphor.

I didn’t even realize I did it, but I use things like the fact he slept 8 hours in a row one night like a little conversational dagger. What I want to happen is for people to surrender that Benjamin is the coolest kid ever (or at least cooler than their kid), and that by association I must therefore be a great parent and consequently a good Christian. I want people to submit in our conversational engagement to my superior skill, intellect, and charm. It’s not even about Benjamin Jr. He’s just the weapon. It’s about me.

What clued me in to how I do this wasn’t even me doing it. Recently a friend reported telling a friend about how Benjamin sleeps though the night. Instead of being happy for us, that friend-of-a-friend actually got mad, because they are a parent of a significantly older infant who is still not sleeping through the night. How silly. They treated the fact that our son sleeps through the night (at least once) as an attack on them. As our friend relayed this information to us, it made me smile, and even wish I had been there. I missed out on someone surrendering!

The saddest part of the whole thing is that it doesn’t stop (or start) with my kid (although it is the latest manifestation). Everything in my life is a competition. My sentences too often start with the words “I”, “Me” or “My.” (yes, I wrote that sentence intentionally ironic.)

What is great about the gospel (in this instance) is that it frees me from slavery to me. I no longer have to compete with others. I am not accepted by God based on my ability to parent. I am accepted because of Christ. What freedom from the competition!

Now, if I could only remember that when somebody asks how he is sleeping at night…

July 28, 2008July 6, 2010

Straight from the Cowboy’s Mouth.

Hundreds of people knelt in the audience. The leader said “On the count of three, I want everyone to jump, raise their hands, and shout!” Then, with hands raised high in obedience the ones who knew the songs sang the loudest, and others clapped along. It definitely had too much of a mega-church, over-produced worship sort of feel for my tastes. But then again, worship isn’t supposed to be about me, either. But I had a strange feeling it wasn’t supposed to be about a sweaty, overweight man screaming “I’m gonna beat these drums like I am in bed with my girlfriend:” as the smell of cigarrettes and bodyodor wafted through the humid night air.

See, I wasn’t at a church.

I saw Cowboy Mouth perform on Saturday night, and as I told my brother and cousin when we drove away, I have only seen someone have that kind of control over an audience a few times in my life. Make no mistake, Fred LeBlanc was a worship leader on Saturday night. Kind of a worship leader who is a strange mix of Jack Black, Chris Farley, Space Ghost,(seriously he sounds just like SG when he talks:) and cocaine (as I twittered live from the show).

What I saw on Biltmore Avenue Saturday night was worship. Worship of several little gods who can’t satisfy. Gods like happiness, freedom from rules (which is in reality a new type of bondage), alcohol, and self. At one point, Fred told us to just celebrate that “we can do whatever the hell we want to.”—the great American god of autonomy.

The Bible doesn’t discuss atheism. It discusses idolatry. Others have written far more eloquently on the subject, but I was struck by how true this is. It’s not that we don’t believe in something (or someone) that is able to save us from our sin: it’s that we think that some created thing can save us from our sin (alcohol, music, cigarettes, money) or that we can ignore our sin (eastern philosophy) or that we can do enough to pay for our own sin (religion). All three of those things are idolatry. The last two are self-idolatry.

Fred is a very gifted drummer and vocalist, Cowboy Mouth is a very talented band, and I mean them absolutely no disrespect in this post. I enjoyed the show, even. But what caused me to enjoy the show was outright rejecting some of the things that he said. I can’t do whatever the hell I want to do. Praise the Lord I am not left to that wonderful “freedom,” since at times the things I want to do are self-destructive and wrong. Me left to my own devices is certainly not a blessing for me or anybody who comes in contact with me.

I can enjoy his talent as a drummer and singer without imagining that he will ever have the ability to save me. I can celebrate the beautiful sounds of his music only because I am a slave to a much more beautiful God. I can experience happiness and a taste of freedom from enjoying a cold beer on a humid July evening only because I know and love the Source of true delight who created those things for me to enjoy.

Don’t fall for the lie that says getting drunk and bucking the system while listening to New Orleans rock is the path to freedom. It’s the path deeper into despair. Jesus is far more satisfying, in the long run.

August 4, 2008January 22, 2010

Golden Compass

I just watched the golden compass. Well produced film. It’s pretty sad that Christians made such a fuss out of not going to see this film, since that directly plays into the bias of the filmmakers. They are trying to make the point (as far as I can tell) that the church is in the business of surpressing the truth. What better way to prove their point than to protest their film? As Christians (and especially Protestant Christians) we ought to be about people seeing this film. It promotes standing against forces that keep us from discovering the truth. Sure, there is an anti-church agenda going on, but it is secondary to the pro-truth agenda. And of all things, I think the church should be about uncovering and exposing the truth. I agree with the filmmakers when they make the statement that the truth is far more valuable than church tradition. Furthermore, I agree that there has been some pretty jacked up corruption in the church, historically. Let’s expose the truth.

Posted with LifeCast

August 5, 2008July 19, 2010

The Struggle

It’s funny how my little man struggles to stay awake. I am sitting beside his crib, standing periodically to shh-shh him, and thinking about how funny we humans are.

We go to great lengths to prove how self-sufficient we are. Benjamin refusing to go to sleep has nothing on my refusal to submit to God some days. And what a silly thing to refuse… Like refusing to take food on an overnight camping trip, or a raincoat on a trip to Seattle. That’ll show ‘em. Luckily I have a heavenly Dad who stands beside my crib while I moan and groan, and continues to graciously put my pacifier back in until I finally realize what’s best for me.

August 6, 2008January 22, 2010

183 Pushups

That’s not a misprint. I (Ben) just did 113 pushups, split into 5 sets (27, 21, 21, 18, 26, with the last set being a max-out) Jacqueline just did 70 pushups (16, 13, 13, 11, 17, with the last being a max-out) That’s 183 pushups between the two of us. My arms are resting on the keyboard, and I am not sure I am going to be able to pick them up.

If you had told me a month ago that I would have been able to do that many, I would have laughed at you. But here I sit, exhausted but feeling good about our progress. We are going to be one buff couple in a few weeks! Stay tuned.