Category: regular

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If Only Life were "According to Ben"

Here’s the thing about perseverance:  It takes a while.

I want the non-existent concept of instant obedience.  I say to God, “OK, I’ve checked the box marked ‘experience emotional strain and pain from a precariously low bank account and trust God to provide’ and now I’d like to move on to the box marked ‘experience the joy of giving out of an abundance.’”

But that’s not how persevering in difficult times works.  This whole deal isn’t written like the script of a sit-com.

God is concerned about the end of this process, and people joining our team of financial partners. But right now he’s most concerned that we continue to run to the gospel even in the midst of this stuff.

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Fishing Trip, Day 1.

5:30 AM Dad knocks on my door and says “It’s 5:30” (which you already knew, but I didn’t, at the time) I mutter something incoherent and grab for the toothbrush in the bag by the bed.

6:15 AM Having swung by my brother’s house to pick him up, we stop at a covered gas station to rearrange the stuff in the bed of the truck without the “help” of the chilling, driving rain.

7:03 AM We complete the first three-sentence verbal exchange of the day, between the three of us. Subject matter? The I-40 bypass around Greensboro, and the relative merits of each route.

8:49 AM I decide to give up in the quest to keep from nodding off in the passenger seat, but realize that comfortable seating and three full-grown males in a Dodge Ram are mutually exclusive concepts.

11:39 AM I come to the crushing realization that Nags Head, NC (population 7,000 in a heavy day, plus some tourists) has far better cell phone reception than Asheville, NC (population 50,000 on the worst day this quarter-century, plus some tourists). I bitterly take it out on AT$T via a passive aggressive Tweet at 11:40.

11:51 AM A Mexican Pizza and two soft tacos are involved. No further details are available for the public, until next-of-kin and physicians can be notified.

12:53 PM After meeting up with my uncle and cousin, we drop our luggage off at the Breakwater Inn. I make the mistake of asking if there is a “fitness center” here. I’ll be walking on the beach to stay in shape.

2:33 PM I get up the guts (pun intended) to hurl the fish bait attached to my line as hard as I can into the surf. It immediately becomes apparent how poor of a decision that is, when the line snaps, sending the 4 ounce weight, rigging, and bait sailing well beyond the breakers.

2:40(ish) PM Some unsuspecting fish gets a fancy lip ring that is unfortunately no longer attached to my reel.

5:00 PM I inadvertently hum an Aaron Neville song out loud, and feel the need to toss my man card into the ocean.

6:20 PM Having packed up the slightly fewer than 1 fish we caught and dropped the gear off at the Breakwater, we find ourselves in “Pop’s Raw Bar” (where bikers and 4x4s are welcomed, according to the sign) enjoying some amazing seafood and second-hand smoke.

7:30 PM I sit down to the laptop back at the Breakwater to find that, to my surprise, “The Fisherman’s Quarters” next door has Wi-Fi. This post is the immediate result.

Here’s hoping we catch some fish tomorrow. Or that I get this Aaron Neville song out of my head. Either would be considered success.

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Santa Claus.

We’re probably not going to do Santa with our kids.

When I say that, immediately there are those who jump up to tell us how it’s just innocent fun to tell the stories of Santa.  (Funny how it’s not OK for me to tell others not to do Santa but it’s perfectly acceptable for others to tell me to do the opposite…)

They also often say something to the effect of “we were raised believing in Santa, and we turned out all right!”  And, to a great extent that may be true.  But George Burns smoked until he was 100 years old, and that doesn’t make smoking healthy.  I don’t make my parenting decisions (or really any other decisions) based solely on anecdotal evidence.

Here is the main reason we are leaning the way we are:

On a foundational level the story of Santa and the story of Jesus are exact opposites.  Santa gives based on how good you are.  Jesus gives based on how much you admit your inability to be good.  And that might be confusing to my child.

We ruin the concept of gifts by making them meritorious. I don’t give him gifts based on “you better not cry, you better not pout” because if I did I’d never give him anything.  Pouting is an every other breath activity at some points in his day.

The Bible is pretty clear about the naughty-nice list.  There’s only one name on the nice list, and it’s Jesus.

All of that to say we are not anti-Santa.  We’ve still got him up as a decoration.  We’ll tell our kids the story of Santa.  But we won’t tell it likes it’s true.  As should be apparent from my rant about the Halloween protesters, I am not about Christians making a stink about holidays that are often our only common ground with our non-believing neighbors.

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While I’m on the Santa topic…

I’ve heard some people say that they are worried about their kids, when they are told about the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, and Jesus, that they might learn two of the three are a lie and assume the third is also.

That’s pretty silly, unless during family devotions you are praying to the Easter Bunny. Kids can tell the difference between something you devote your life to and something you talk about once a year.

If they believe Jesus is on the same level of relevance in your life as Santa Claus, it’s because you’ve lived like it.

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Hard Work.

I started my three new books with Roy Williams’ Hard Work, because (contrary to what the title might have me believe) I knew it would be the quickest read.  And nothing fuels reading like some good momentum.

Tim Crothers (Roy’s help writing the book) does an excellent job of hiding behind what sounds exactly like Roy Williams is speaking, and making it come off as both well written, and something Roy would say. I loved the behind-the-scenes look into coaching that it provided, and I think many people, especially vocational ministers, would profit from the lessons in how to effectively coach young people. If you are reading just for that, skip straight to the chapter called “philosophy.”

However, amidst the great retellings of some of the best moments of his coaching career runs a disturbing thread.  Here is a man literally on the top of his profession.  He’s among only 13 men to have ever won multiple national championships in men’s college basketball.  He has the highest winning percentage among active coaches.  At the time of the writing, he’s the current national champion. Yet it is clear that not even those pinnacles of achievement afford him any respite from the nagging pursuit of being the best.

As much as a fan as I am of UNC ball, it pains me that I get the sense Coach Williams is chasing wind.  (Ecclesiastes 2:11) What a shame to have worked so hard, done so well, and to have ended up with nothing of eternal significance.

Let me be clear, I am not saying that his pursuit of being the best is necessarily wrong  (I don’t know the man or his heart personally).  It is by no means wrong to pursue excellence.  But if that pursuit is done to validate me as a person, to make me “somebody,” I’ve missed it.  Only in Christ am I validated.  And only by my validation in Christ can I then rightly, actually, pursue excellence.

If a salesman has no assurance of where his next meal is coming from, it changes the motivation for selling. He’s selling that product to stay afloat!  If, on the other hand, he has a million dollars in the bank, he can sell for the love of the the product he is pushing. He’s been validated already.

My prayer is that Coach Williams (and I) would run to Christ, the only one who can validate us.  Christ is the one who has really done the “hard work.”

Then, run from there to Cameron Indoor Stadium and keep the streak alive against Dook.

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