All that I need.

While we’ve been off campus developing a team of ministry partners (because “support raising” erroneously implies I’m more about the dollars than the relationships), I have noticed a recurring theme popping up in my life.

I am living in anticipation of the next stage of life, which indicates a lack of understanding of the gospel.

Let me explain.  I frequently think things like “once I’ve raised the support, things will be better,” or “if my son grows up to be a godly man who leads people to Christ (or at least a godly man who plays point guard for the Tar Heels), then I’ll be complete.”  I’d never really verbalize those thoughts in exactly that way, but I am prone to making plans under the faulty assumption that I don’t currently have all that I need (or could ever want!) in Christ.

I think “if I got a book deal and a speaking tour, then I’d be worth something…” or “if I led worship at a church full-time, then I’d be living the dream.”  All the while, I forget the gospel.  Like an alcoholic going back to the fridge for another beer, I’m convinced that this next _________ will change things.  It’ll make it all better.

But I have all I need in Christ.

Exodus 14:14
Psalm 40:17
Psalm 116:6
Isaiah 58:11
Luke 12:29-31
2 Corinthians 9:8
Ephesians 1:3 (check the verb tense)
Philippians 4:19
Hebrews 7:26
2 Peter 1:3

What’s filling Christ’s blank in your life?

RIP Mary.

Mary Travers (of Peter, Paul, and Mary… and if that’s not enough of a clue, google it, young’n.) died today.

And I cried about it.

I was checking out her website and the touching things that her bandmates had to say about her and was struck by the fragility of life.  Do I know where Mary Travers is currently spending eternity?  Nope.  I didn’t know her, and only in passing listened to her music growing up.  But her death reminds me that good works are not enough.  She was an activist from birth.  According to her wikipedia page, her parents moved to Greenwich village in NY when she was just 2 years old.  She spent her entire life working for the causes of the underrepresented, the downtrodden, and the powerless.

But that’s not enough.

Again, I don’t know anything about her spiritual life, and so I am by no means pronouncing judgement on her.  My concern is that people not look at her life, which was spent living for a cause, and think that causes are enough to render you acceptable to God.  No amount of lobbying for abortion rights, gun control, animal rights, or racial reconciliation can get rid of the problem.

Her problem (and mine) is that we have declared war on God.  We’ve said to God that he isn’t doing a good enough job, and that we could do it better.  I still do it about once a day (on a particularly holy day), and Mary Travers did it too.  God, being perfect, and holy, and all of the things that we aren’t, can’t just let us off the hook for our rebellion.  He has to finish the war.  He has to win.  So, 2000 years ago, he won the war, by putting his perfect son on the front line of the rebels.  He killed his son so that infidels and rebels like me could go free.

All of the things that Mary Travers fought for (freedom for oppressed people, environmental awareness, etc) are worthy of fighting for.  But, until you deal with your own bankruptcy before God, you’ve still got a problem that no amount of activism can fix.

May the death of Mary Travers point us to the only cause worth fighting for.

A year ago.

One year ago yesterday we handed our 4-month-old to an anesthesiologist and said a prayer.

One year ago yesterday we had more individual viewers on our blog in a single day (by over 300) than any other day before or since.

One year ago yesterday we experienced something that, even today, we don’t like to look at the pictures of.

But God is so good.  Though we deserve none of it, he brought our son through surgery to repair craniosynostosis and now, a year later, he’s doing extremely well.  We are so thankful for how God works.  He doesn’t treat us as our sins deserve.

Hope-Accosted Waiting.

Can I be honest?

The past week has been a struggle.  We are facing an elephant-sized amount of financial support to raise, and despite having been off campus working full-time on developing additional support, we have a net gain of around (negative) 100 bucks per month this month.  It has felt insurmountable at times, and we have struggled with trusting God.

But as I was driving back from Fall Getaway (the only on-campus activity of the semester), I was confronted—no, accosted—by a strong sense of hope.  See, I’m more sure than ever that I am called to be on staff with this organization.  I am so excited about what God is doing on campus, and how He is continually, relentlessly, mercifully taking me to the gospel.  I have a clear vision for where we are going, just not how we are getting there.

These economic times (a phrase I wish were retired, or at least made past tense) have meant a sense of panic in America.  To compound that, the predominantly fiscally conservative culture in which I have most of my doings has reached fever pitch over the national transfer of power to the left-minded.  People are terrified, if that’s a strong enough word.  And the news media is loving it.  The more they stir up the blood pressure, the more their advertisers pay to put their logo just to the left of the “Meltdown” graphic.  (This segment of panicked rhetoric and over-dramatization is brought to you by Sears.  “Come experience the softer side of Sears.”)

Listening to conservative talk radio is baffling to the point of humorous, as you’ll hear minor-key melodramatic advertisements urging investors to buy gold, or seed packets, or underground bunkers.

What drives the panic?  Lack of perspective.

When I panic over how we are going to stay on staff in light of our current financial support, it means I’ve lost perspective on who is in charge.

When you panic because you fear the ramifications of a liberal policy (or a conservative policy), or because your 401(k) is looking more like a 200.5(k), it means the same thing: you’ve lost perspective on who is in charge.

Despite what some politicians (or marketers) might have you believe, the office of the presidency was never designed to save you.  Free market capitalism governed by personal moral restraint, though I think it’s biblical, is not designed to save you.

A full bank account, and a surplus of money coming in each month is not designed to save me.  As soon as we give saving power to anyone or anything in our lives, we’ve missed the gospel.

Let me be clear and say I am not suggesting a carefree, naive approach to what are certainly weighty issues.  I am not suggesting that I should stop aggressively pursuing raising support, or that you should ignore the politicians and what’s going on in the country.  Issues like public healthcare are worth discussing and debating.  They are just not worth panicking over.  Panic indicates that you are trusting in that subject to be your salvation.

As Christians, we should only panic if God is in danger of no longer being sovereign.  Hope, for the believer, is not some wishful thinking where we cross our fingers and think positive thoughts.  Hope (that force that accosted me on the road back from Lake Wylie) is based on who God is, and what he has done.  Jesus didn’t say “it is almost finished, except for that part that will be finished once _____________ happens” (fill in the blank with things like a full bank account, your particular brand of legislation making it through congress, your kid turning out to be a preacher, or doctor, or fisherman…)  He said “It is finished.”  As believers, we can be assured that, no matter what happens in the meantime, it is all going to be all right in the end.  This life is as close to hell as we will ever get.

When we have weeks that are a struggle to latch onto God, we can rest assured that it wasn’t his grip that loosened.  He’s never let go.  And praise the Lord his saving me isn’t based on my ability to keep my grasp on it.

Welcome!

So, I got a guest post over at “Stuff Christians Like” which is the Christian-blogical equivalent of me suiting up and snagging Kobe’s starting spot. (or at least John Paxson’s spot on the ‘93 Bulls.  Who’s with me?)

With a guest post of such magnitude, I thought I’d take a second here on my blog to introduce myself, with the overt desire of persuading several dozen of you to become regular readers.

I’m Ben.  Not to be confused with Little Ben, who is far cuter.  Most of the stuff you experience on the blog was posted by me.  My beautiful wife Jacqueline (Jacq for short, but try to avoid “Jackie” if you would…) posts from time to time, and mostly works the pictures-of-the-little-guy angle.

Vocationally, we are hedonistic drug dealers.  Our drug of choice is grace (the unmerited, unearnable, irrevocable thumbs-up of the only One whose opinion matters), and we deal primarily on the college campus.  We got hooked on grace in college, and have been junkies and dealers simultaneously for the past 7 years (Ben) and 4 years (Jacq). We’re involved in a plot outlined in Matthew 28:18-20 to hook people from every nation, people and language on the good stuff.

Non-vocationally (hobby-ally?) put me down for a slab of graphic design with a side of total frustration when I try to make those designs into web pages.  My semi-ineptitude at CSS is illustrated in the fact that above you see my latest twitter update, but not my wife’s.  I’m working on it.  I love the creative process and really long to give my creativity a non-sucky outlet. Some of those outlets? Video production, photography, creative writing, and graphic design.  I’m still very much a rookie and formally untrained in all of the above.  I am slightly more-trained as a guitar player and worship leader, which also serves as a creative outlet.

To get to know us a bit better, here’s a list of posts I think you ought to check out:

My experience with rice cereal and the pinky.

My 25 things.

LB and the monster faces (video)

Why I do what I do.

LB and the blocks (video)

The tag cloud to my left (your right) is also a great way to find out more about a specific segment of the blog.  The bigger the word, the more I have to say about it.

I should warn you that if you poke around enough on this site, or stick around for more than a few minutes, I’m bound to challenge you to worship with your wallet.  Here’s a post clarifying that phenomenon.

Why do I blog?  Here’s the approximate motivational breakdown:

60.21% Keeping friends, family, ministry partners, and others up-to-date on our life, in the never ending quest for actual authenticity.

32.45% Creative expression outlet

7.34% Challenging folks in their view of God, money, and life.

(I’m also willing to include up to 10% extra in the event that you are a high school or collegiate football coach and require more than the standard 100%.)

So, I’m glad you stopped by.  Bookmark us, follow one or the other of us on twitter, subscribe to the RSS feed over there—>, and swing by again!  I’d also love it if in the comments below you’d share where you’re from.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go give Kobe his jersey back.