Absurd Christmas Hymns

Having a closer listen to popular Christmas carols’ lyrics, you begin to understand how those outside of Christianity are left scratching their heads.  Here’s two that I have heard recently that have me scratching, as well.

“…A Child, a Child, shivers in the cold, let us bring Him silver and gold…”

It is just me, or does it seem borderline cruel to give a shivering baby a nice pair of cufflinks?  I think he could use a blanket.  Furthermore, how cold was it in a middle eastern stable?  This song is confusing.

“…The Ox and Lamb kept time, pa-rum-pum-pum pum…”

The whole concept of mini-concert in the aforementioned stable is awkward at best, but this line pushes me right over the edge.  I guess the songwriter thought he could just slip in a line about the rhythmic farm animals without us noticing.  We caught you, songwriter man.  I’ll blindly assume it was a man who wrote such an absurd line.  I’ll also stab in the dark and say the guy was a part-time songwriter, part time homebrewer, and he was experimenting with some high gravity pale ales while he whipped up this ditty.

I’ll keep my ears open for more holiday goodness, as we roll toward the 25th.  Any tips on some good lines would be appreciated.  Comment below.