Stability, even if it is only imagined, is immobilizing.
Like a beginning gymnast on the balance beam, standing still is so easy that it makes it a fearful thing to take a step.
There was an entire year when I first reported to my missions assignment that I was blissfully ignorant of the state of my financial support. I didn’t make a call, didn’t check my account balance, and intentionally avoided the topic with my coworkers. I probably even lied to my superiors (or at the very least bent the truth a bit) to avoid facing my own sloth in that regard.
The thing about my lack of diligence in maintaining support is that it had the illusion of comfort. Like an extramarital affair has an illusion of being intimate and exciting, my laziness felt pretty good. In laziness I was avoiding the hard work of actively trusting God to provide for my needs. I was standing still on the balance beam. And the longer I stood there, the harder it became to move.
Which makes me so thankful for the people who pushed me, rocked my equilibrium, and unbalanced the beam beneath me by forcing me to take a long hard look at my financial support.
It took several years to recover from that basket full of lazy that defined my attitude toward ongoing Ministry Partner Development at first.
But the discomfort was so worth it. The men and women who pushed me to face reality even when it was painful are my heroes, in retrospect. If you have people who claim to be your friends, but refuse to confront you when you are in sin, I’d call them enemies. What a privilege to have people with whom I worked day in and day out who were not afraid to call my bluff.
It was their metaphorical push that gave me the faith muscle to stay on the balance beam for 8 years. More than that, it gave me to ability and perspective to face some of my biggest fears!
Do you have anybody rocking your balance beam?