Support raising forced me to really face the core question of my life for the first time.
The question that would come to define the next decade.
The question that, if I’m honest, it’s still tough to ask.
It’s just three words. Those same three simple words have haunted me even since leaving vocational ministry. I’ve shed tears answering the same question over and over.
Is Jesus Enough?
For the first time in my otherwise easy suburban existence, in support raising I was faced with the rubber-meeting-the-road reality that I didn’t actually believe the gospel. Sure, I would intellectually assent to the fact that Jesus was big enough to care for my every need. But to say it with your head was one thing. To trust it with your wallet was entirely another. God was exceedingly gracious to me to allow my first “real job” to be in raising support, relentlessly trusting God to provide for my needs.
By no means did I do it perfectly. But I think that’s kind of the point.
My faltering, hiccuping faith that God would provide for me further underscored my need for a savior. My need to be rescued from my own religious tendency to try and save myself, to be my own “enough.”
It turns out, raising support was just the training ground.