Category: regular

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The amazing power of the interwebs.

I am taking a short break from my video editing, and I just discovered one of the coolest additions to a blog or website that I have seen in a while.  It’s called “RefTagger” and its put out by Logos, the same company that makes off-the-charts Bible software that I hope to own someday.  Now, when I type in a verse reference like Romans 10:9-10 or 1 Cor. 13:8 or Nahum 3:5-6 it will automagically make those into links, and make it to where mousing over the link pops up the verse!  How cool is that?

Galatians 6:11

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A Milestone in our Journey Toward Adulthood.

Today we officially entered adulthood.  It wasn’t the fact that we have a child, or a minivan, or persistent heartburn (that’s just me). You would think that a retirement plan or a benefits package would be the turning point.  Not for us.  Today we crossed over the threshold-

—into the realm of deep-freeze ownership.

The large, cabinet style freezer that your parents have that holds three-year-old deer meat and unidentifiable grey stuff that you are pretty sure started out as a vegetable.  Yeah, we own one of those, as of yesterday afternoon.

So, what should I put in there that will someday be thoroughly unrecognizable, except by virtue of me remembering it as “that thing I put in there first?”  I say some sort of soup.  Or a non-food item, just to throw off my future self… “Honey, why is there a flip-flop in a zip-lock bag?” (That sounds like the beginning of a hip-hop retail jingle… are you listening, Wal-Mart?)

Either way, sign me up for the AARP mailings.  I now have a deep-freeze.

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Sprinkling the Baby.

Tomorrow evening, we are baptizing our little boy.  I know infant baptism has been an issue to split entire denominations, and so I thought it appropriate to pause and acknowledge the “why” of our decision to baptize our 9 month-old.

First, a few notes as to what this occasion is not.

  1. It is not a mere religious formality.  In fact, we are not fans of religion.  Let me explain.  Religion is the approach to God that says we need to do certain things to make him happy or to appease him.  Religion says that God sets a standard and that we are constantly doing things to reach that standard.  It’s karma.  Build up enough good stuff to make God happy.  We are not baptizing our child to make God happy.  We don’t go to church to make God happy.  That’s religion, and we (despite our classification with the IRS as members of a religious missionary organization) are not pro-religion.  Additionally, we are not pro-formality.  We aren’t baptizing Little Ben to check off a formality. In fact, if you come to our church, very little is formal.  The pastor doesn’t even tuck in his shirt.
  2. We don’t believe that this baptism saves Little Ben.  He is still saved the “old fashioned way” via the instructions in Romans 10:9-10.  He confesses his need for a savior, and asks Jesus to be that savior, through the power of the regenerating Holy Spirit.

So that’s what the baptism isn’t.  Here’s what it is.  (I should note that this is an “agree to disagree” issue for me, and I understand that for some it is not.  I apologize for not arguing with you about it. There are men and women I greatly respect and look up to like John Piper on the other side of the theological fence from me on this issue.  We agree to disagree.)  We believe that scripture teaches that God works through the unit of families.  When Abraham entered into covenant with God, he and all the males in his family were circumsized.  In many instances, God uses language like “the promise is for you and your children…” to demonstrate that His plan is to work through the family.  We see baptism as the new covenant version of circumcision.  Jesus’ death on the cross took away the need for blood to enter into the covenant.

So tomorrow when little Ben is baptized, what we are doing is acknowledging that he is a sinner in need of God’s grace, and that God has sovereignly placed him in our care to steward and shepherd into a man who one day will enter into God’s family.  The faith on display is not his faith, but ours.

What a beautiful picture of God’s grace: a selfish, self-centered baby is dragged (most likely screaming… the service starts near the fussiest time of the day) into a covenant where his sworn enemy (God) becomes his sacrificial lamb.

Feel free to join us as we celebrate God’s grace tomorrow night.

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My beef with Arby’s.

I swung swang swinged stopped by Arby’s on my way to church last night, and hit the drive-thru. A man’s voice greeted me and asked if I’d like to try one of their new blah blah combos. I declined and placed the first part of my order.

And that’s when it happened.

What was an enthusiastic male voice from Iowa suddenly became a tired female voice from the hills of Leicester (pronounced Lester) asking if I wanted anything else.

If they want to use recordings because they can’t find people adept enough to use their happy voices, that’s cool. But at the least they could follow through and have a voice with the same chromosome arrangement. And go ahead and record the same guy/girl asking “would you like anything else?” while you’re at it. The present arrangement only makes it more obvious to the consumer how poor your employees’ people skills are.

There’s no shortcut when quality service is what you are aiming for. Train your employees to actually sound happy, or create a work environment where they actually ARE happy. And lose the recordings. It’s insulting to find out I just answered a question that nobody actually asked.

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A Worship-Leader’s Pocket Guide.

I’m preparing music to lead at a conference coming up, and in doing so I get to spend a lot of time listening to potential songs and a diverse array of worship leaders and their different tendencies.  I have come to a tentative conclusion: the more famous you are as a worship leader, the more obscure are the things you can get away with saying as interludes between songs.  And the shorter the sentence and farther from context, the better.  Three word phrases like “faith is rising” or “sing it prophetically” have the most impact as obscure worship-phrases (OWP for short).

In an effort to increase effectiveness and urban appeal among worship-leaders, I’ve compiled the following Guide to Obscure Appropriateness in Leading Worship, or GOAL-W for short.  Using this scoring system, you will be able to determine not only your level of obscurity and thus greatness, but where you are most fit as a worship leader to serve.

Handy GOAL-W

  1. You slip in the name of a lesser known Old Testament prophet.  +2 points.  +3 for each usage of Melchizedek.
  2. You forego using a verb.  “Jesus Glory Beautiful” as an example.  +1 point.
  3. You never open your eyes and are able to switch between songs and toss out an OWP +3 points.
  4. You use a Scripture reference, but only the address.  “1 Chronicles 3:4” as an example.  +2 points for New Testament, +3 points for Old Testament.
  5. That Scripture reference is Ezekiel 23:19-20 +10 additional points.
  6. You use the phrase “close your eyes and imagine with me” -10 points.
  7. You utilize the word “shekinah” +3 points for first use, -5 points for each subsequent usage.
  8. You instruct the audience to turn to their neighbor and say something. -25 points and automatic 5-minute timeout. (we’ll excuse one time per service for the purpose of reminding folks that this is corporate worship.  After that, timeout.)
  9. Your three word sentence becomes a 5 minute story about what God is teaching you right now.  -5 points.  We didn’t ask you to give the sermon, just lead the music and keep your talking short and obscure, music (wo)man.
  10. The sound guy claims there was a “feedback issue” when he cuts the mic off halfway through your story.  +4 points for the sound guy.
  11. You sing your OWP after you say it, for emphasis.  +3 points.
  12. You turn that sung OWP into an impromptu chorus and encourage others to begin singing “bring shekinah Amos arise” over and over.  +5 points for every minute you can keep in going.
  13. You utilize any of the following words/phrases in your OWP:

“dry bones” +1 point.

“purpose-driven” +2 points.

“emphatic” +1 point.

“sheep and goats” +2 points.

“prodigal” +3 points.

“Mark Driscoll” +5 points, unless it is part of a story, which has previously been outlawed, and will result in a -6 point score.

“amber bock” +2 points.

“effervescent” +4 points.

“Infinite improbability” +3 points.  If followed by the word “drive”, +10 points.

“horsemen” or “apocalypse” +3 points.

Scoring Chart:

-40 or below:  Maybe it’s time to just cut the word “shekinah” completely out of your vocabulary.  And while I’m at it, I think you need to consider a job as a story-teller.

-40 to -10:  You are definitely a talker, but either you are not obscure enough, or you got caught off guard by the rule against having folks turn to their neighbor and say “neighbor….”

-10 to 0: You seem well fitted for a job in a small, quiet church where the last worship leader was a real talker.  A -35 guy who gave a five minute intro to every song.

1 to 15: You are the type of worship leader who does more dancing than talking.  You’ve got the Dave Matthews/Carlos Whittaker feet thing, and occasionally throw out a one-liner.  You’re a mysterious guy.

15-20:  You’re no Charlie Hall, but you are gunning for him.  People come up to you after church and say things like “what did you mean when you said…________” You’re on your way.

20 and above: Michael W. Smith doesn’t read my blog, to my knowledge.  But if he did, he’d have to admit this is where he scores.  He makes Obscure Worship Phraseology into an art form, and nothing less.

I hope you’ve enjoyed my fun poke at one of the things that makes me laugh about Christians.

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